Taking a Step

This month I tried something I never saw for myself. I am trusting God's Plan for my life. A couple weeks ago I applied to be a corrections officer. I am not in the best shape but I know I can do it. I have already taken and passed the written test, the psychological test and a timed observation. I failed on the endurance test during the physical test. I can do it. It is a three minute step up test in cadence. When complete your heart rate must be below 136 bpm. Doing the step ups is not hard for me, I chase a toddler all day long. The hard part is staying in rhythm. I have been practicing the past week and the best I got to was 2 mins before my brain said whoa I'm off beat and messed me up forcing me to start over. I am praying that if I do mess up this coming Thursday that I have an evaluator that understands you cannot be perfect. That would give me the chance to complete the test and give me this opportunity. Last night I was very frustrated with myself and with God. I yelled out, "God hates me!" and sat down and cried. I wanted to give up on what I was doing. I lowered my guard when my wife heard me and asked how she could help me spiritually. I became vulnerable with her because I needed to. She sat down with me and we talked about what was going on and prayed. I am feeling a bit like Jonah but also Job right now. "Why am I going through this hardship?" "What am I supposed to do?" "Is this what God intended for my life?" These are questions I ask all the time and they don't seem to get answered. I have heard, "When God is quiet, He is at work." This seems very true in most of my life. But lately he has been very quiet for a longer period of time. I doubt like every human. It is up to us to continue to trust when the hardship gets longer and more difficult. What is a step up challenge to God? Nothing. I pray for strength when I approach this new challenge. You can pray for strength too when you are in similar struggles. Nothing is too small for God to handle. Also remember to praise Him during the trials and storms. That is where His strength comes and shows through you as a light to others.